By: Erin Wilson & Juliana Brannan
Originally Published: ISBA's Section on Family Law (November 2025)
Planning for the holidays when going through a divorce is no easy task, and oftentimes it is our duty as attorneys to ensure our clients have a smooth transition into the holiday season. For some clients, this is the first time they may not have the entire holiday season with their children, so getting up front with the harsh reality and planning is highly recommended and beneficial, as it allows all parties, including the children, to know what to expect during the holiday season, as this is their new normal.
In my practice, in September, we send a letter to each client, whether it is a GAL case or we are representing a party, that explains how important getting in front of any holiday scheduling issues is. The letter reminds clients of the holiday dates, ensures that our office is available to assist, explains the process for determining possible options and routes, and asks clients to consider which holidays they celebrate and would like to include in their schedule. Some holidays we specifically point out that are coming up are: Halloween, Thanksgiving, Jewish high holidays & Chanukah, Diwali, Christmas, New Years and Winter Break, given the time of year. From my experience, having these conversations with your clients regarding the holidays early in September and trying to have live conversations by early October helps get in front of any last- minute conflict.
The approach to holiday planning may vary depending on the role you play in the case, i.e., whether you are a Guardian ad Litem or Child Representative, or whether you represent one of the parents. It also greatly depends on the type of case the client has and what the specific issue involves.
As an attorney advocating on behalf of your client, a holiday schedule should be addressed when there is no court-ordered Allocation Judgment, or no court-ordered holiday schedule is in place. If your client does have a court-ordered Allocation Judgment or a Parenting Plan, the schedule is already in place. However, if there are any changes they would like to make to the holiday schedule, it is essential to advise your client to explicitly share this with their co-parent well in advance and work with them on any issues that may arise. In any event, whether holiday planning means getting an order entered or just a general agreement in writing, it is important to do so earlier rather than later (an order is always advisable). If you cannot reach an agreement as to the holiday allocation, build in enough time to file the necessary petition.
As a Guardian ad Litem or Child Representative, it is extremely important to have these same conversations with counsel and/or the parties regarding holiday plans. By sending the letter, and then also followed up by a direct email, we begin the conversation of the anticipated holiday schedule. I encourage the families to put the children first, think about established holiday traditions (Does one side always host Christmas Eve, do the parties visit family for Thanksgiving out of state, just to name a few examples).
Regardless of what role you play in the client’s case it is essential to keep in mind that judges in the Domestic Relations Division typically decline to consider “emergency” motions related to holiday parenting time. In fact, some judges post notices in their courtrooms stating that no emergency motions will be heard regarding holiday parenting time. I have heard judges say many times, “The dates of the holidays are known many months in advance (and some are literally the same day each year) and any issue surrounding those holidays is not an emergency.”
In my experience, both as a GAL and an attorney advocating on behalf of a client, having a holiday schedule in place can alleviate the stress that the holiday season often brings to families going through a divorce. This is particularly beneficial if the parties agree on a holiday visitation schedule well in advance of the holiday season. Such a schedule is also helpful for the children, so they do not need to worry about making choices or being exposed to conflict over holiday scheduling. This may also be the child’s first holiday without their parents in one home, and this is critical to keep in mind.
Your client’s mental health and well- being are also factors to consider when discussing the holidays. Typically, holidays are spent with family, and this year may look different for them. It is generally a good idea to consider therapy for clients who may be facing difficulties with the holiday transition. Although we can help as attorneys on the legal side, a therapist is more equipped to handle the emotional side. It is also important to encourage your clients to find their new normal for the holiday season and to remind them that happiness and love during the holidays are still possible, whether that means spending it with friends or extended family, or doing something they enjoy.
With all of that in mind, good luck, you still have time to talk to your clients, and enjoy the holidays!
NOTICE: This blog is intended solely for informational purposes and should not be construed as providing legal advice. Please feel free to contact us with any questions you may have regarding this blog post.